Just to be clear - the plight of genuine Syrian refugees is pretty unpleasant. I did check that this was a known scam through the magic of Google before responding...
A few days ago, I received an email from a lady called Safia from Syria. It sounded legit so I decided to reply. Below is the email conversation to date (I have changed her email address for security purposes).
A few days ago, I received an email from a lady called Safia from Syria. It sounded legit so I decided to reply. Below is the email conversation to date (I have changed her email address for security purposes).
Date: Mon, 17 Dec 2012 15:52:46
From: safia40127@gmail.com
Subject: <no subject>
I'm am safia hassan from syria,I have a business proposal that will benefit
both of us please get back to me on my private email safia40127@gmail.com for
further details. Safia
I decided to reply. 100% sarcasm free.
Date: Mon, 17 Dec 2012 17:24:49
From: <myemail>@hotmail.com
Subject: Re:
Dear Safia,
As a long time viewer of BBC's Dragons Den and graduate in management studies from the University of Life I am always interested in business proposals, especially given the thrust of today's world towards global commerce between stable political nations.
I have heard Syria is beautiful at this time of year and would love to visit one day.
You have also caught me at an excellent time in my life - I have recently received wonderful news.
I have won first prize in the annual Ghanaian lottery and once my administration fee of £500 has cleared I shall be the beneficiary of more than $10m dollars.
As a sound and cautious investor, I would love to use a portion of this money to invest in new multinational ventures - provided they are good propositions of course!
All I ask is that you tell me of the idea and provide some identification so I can confirm you are who you say you are. A signed photograph would be ideal, preferably with a local landmark in the background.
One other thing. In her majesty's Great Britain, we pride ourselves in our formal communication. As such, I would ask that all future communications begin with "Dear Bobmeister2k" and end with "Yours faithfully / sincerely / truly / obediently etc." as otherwise I may deem your emails to be impolite.
I look forward to hearing more of your proposal.
Yours subserviently,
<myname>
She left me hanging for a couple of days, I feared I would never hear from her again, but then the magic new email sound...
Date: Mon, 19 Dec 2012 09:51:24
From: safia40127@gmail.com
Subject: Re:
Assalamualaikum my dear friend i pray my message meet you and your family in good heath as you join me to pray of the peace of the Syrian people,Like i told you before i am a Mother of two children and i am from Syria i am Islam i dot want to disclose my family name for now because of security reasons and for the safety of me and my children but you will understand and know more about me in my nest email if i receive good response from you after you read this message,please i need your trust and help because of the situation going on in Syria this is why i need some one to help me and my children into a better future in a truthful and holy way and to be my partner in this subject,i got your email address from Google check for emails the reason why i am contacting you is that i need your assistants and partnership and by so doing you will be high reworded i need who can help me receive my family funds that i want to transfer out of where is been deposited to a safer place and to receive it on my behalf because of the situation in Syria and what has happen to me i want to leave Syria to a safer place Syria is no longer safe for me and my family after all that has happened to us this funds it is not a stolen items or for the government of Syria the funds belongs to this family do not think of any evil or have any doubt over this issue i mean what i am saying and is true if you are willing to be my partner i will be able to give more informations to help you and i assure you of your safety because no one knows about this Funds except my late husband and i promise to reword you as you willing to partner with me.this all i can tell you for now and i hope you understand and work with me in a right and trustful way.if my message is clear to you i want you to send me some informations about you for further conversation. (1)your full name (2)your nationality (3)a mobile number i can call you on.i shall call you to discus more about this issue with you on phone if i receive good response from you,
thank you.
Apologies for the wall of text - I felt I should leave formatting unchanged. I responded quickly, I could hardly contain myself.
Date: Mon, 19 Dec 2012 15:41:29
From: <myemail>@hotmail.com
Subject: Re:
Greetings Safia,
Thank you for your email. Whilst…
- Your failure to send a photograph of a local landmark as requested
- Your failure to begin your latest correspondence with “Dear Bobmeister2k” as requested
- Your failure to end your latest correspondence with “Yours faithfully / sincerely / truly / obediently etc.” as requested
- Your assertion that you told me previously of your two children when this is clearly not the case
…could suggest (to a more cynically minded person) that this email is a non-personalised, pre-prepared email sent out to anyone who replies to your first email, I am a man of faith and believe your heart to be true. Especially, given your assurances that your funds are “not stolen item” and that I should “not think of any evil or have any doubt over this issue i mean what i am saying and is true”.
- Your unwillingness to tell me your family name even though your email comes up as from “Safia Hassan”
In fact, the “automated” feel of this email instead suggests to me that there may be other suitors that you are in discussions with that think they have chance of getting their grubby mitts on my “reword”. Much like something that would significantly benefit the grammatical correctness of your email, I will be the one who is “reworded”. I will prove to you that I should be the one to take care of your fortune.
Firstly, however, let me congratulate you on the longest single sentence I have ever read. Your complete disdain for the full stop and liberal spattering of unnecessary capital letters and commas shows an artistic flair that I can truly relate to and really helps me to sympathise with your cause.
Now, let me explain to you why I should be the one help you in your quest for a safe haven for your fortune…
- I have recently won the $11.3m jackpot on the Ghanaian lottery. Once the £500 “admin fee” cheque I have written to the Ghanaian Lottery Commission (GLC) clears I will receive these funds. Because of my unimaginable wealth, I will be a very trustworthy custodian of your monies and not tempted to add them to my sizeable personal fortune
- I have two full collections of the Natwest pig piggy banks. This collection includes 2 x Sir Nathaniel Westminster, 2 x Lady Hillary Westminster, 2 x Maxwell Westminster, 2 x Annabel Westminster and 2 x Woody Westminster. As you can see, this is a full double collection. Why is this important you ask? Firstly, it shows a commitment to a banking institution throughout the 1980s and personal liquidity and solvency across this period. Secondly, these ceramic creatures would be perfect for housing your monies, keeping them distinct from my fortuitous fortune
- I have 93.3% a positive feedback seller rating on my eBay account and am well on my way to my “Blue Star”. The only reason this is not 100% is because “bluemagoo473” claimed that the 47 crayon Crayola set I sold him was insufficiently sharpened before posting. Well, that idiot should have read the small print. It was clearly in the small print. I hope he burns.
I have no doubt that having read the above you will conclude that I am the best partner for your venture. As a show of faith I have included my contact details below:
- I own a small container shipping business with premises on the Port of Tyne (near Newcastle). Not only can I funnel your money through the accounts of my business upon receipt in order to “clean” it, but I have also historically used one of my shipping vessels to ferry people from their motherlands to find refuge in my fair country. In fact, if we conclude this business quickly enough I may be able to offer you and your family passage on my next inbound vessel – you may even get to meet Mr. Nigel from the GLC!
(1) Full Name: James Wilson Vincent Saville
(2) Nationality: British
(3) Telephone number: +44208 7438000
I look forward to hearing from you. Please note that the phone number I have given you is my work line and they can sometimes be a bit cautious in putting you through to my desk. If you have trouble, please email me.
As I requested before – please send me a photo of you, ideally next to a local landmark.
Yours concomitantly,
<myname>
Please note that the phone number is not mine - it's the switchboard at BBC television centre. Worry ye not, the very next day she was back in touch!
Date: Mon, 20 Dec 2012 11:39:30
From: safia40127@gmail.com
Subject: Good wishs from your friend Safia
Assalamualakum dear <myname>
Thank you very much for you response to my email as you have choosing to help this family believe me you will never regret it.doh my letters are very long please take time to read it,i am sorry to send you this message is not to bother you but please i am in need of your help and partnership i am the wife of late Ayman Rahaj saad who was killed by the Bashar al-Assad military they shot my husband right in front of me in our house in Homs because he deflected from the Bashar al-Assad Government after much killing on protesters they killed my husband and claim he was a rebel My husband was never a rebel he was a hard working man a good father of two children he was only asking for the justice of the people before his death he was working with the Syrian Government.the reason why i contact you is to seek your assistant in this issue i have funds deposited with a safe keeping company in two boxes it was labeled as family valuable antiques/treasure because we dot want to disclosed what we have in the boxes to the company as cash we only told them is our family belongings so they can help us move it to Saudi Arabia where we have plan to move to before the death of my husband.this plans came up when we saw the way the crisis was going we have already made plan to live the country to Saudi Arabia before my husband was murdered.At the night they killed my husband, me and my two kids run out of the house from the back door into the street of homs where a lot of killing take place that night thanks to the Red-Cross worker who found us and take us to a refugee Camp in Syria/Turkey border where we have been living for almost 1year and 6 months now.Please I need you to help me because the safe keeping company where we deposited our boxes has stop operation in Syria because of the international sanctions on Syria by the international community the company have write to notify me to come and receive my boxes with them because the company has finally closed down their office in Syria and they have move out of Syria.due to my situation i am in a refugee camp i can not travel any where to receive my boxes from them because they left Syria and i can not ask them to send the boxes to me here in a refugee camp it will not be safe of me to receive the boxes here because there is no where i can keep the boxes here with me in a refugee camp where i have thousands people around me this is why i need you urgent help to stand and help me act on my behalf to receive the boxes for me.i have the document of deposit with me that show i and my family are the right owner of the deposit so you need not to worry about any problems or risk in helping me.
Insha allah this funds belong to me and my husband is not for the Government of Syria or for any one i guaranty you of your safety I am willing to give you %25 of the total funds of 9.2millons Dollars if you are willing to help me secure the funds into your country where i can be able to plan a new future for me and my family and invest our money in a good investment i will let you own 20 percent shear in any business we invest in i shall sign all required documents needed for you to contact the security company and act on my behalf as my family member.As soon as we receive our refugee status from the united nations me and my two kids will move to live in your country because Syria is no longer safe for us any more Please i seek your honesty and trust to help me i dot know you but i believe this is happening for a good reason i also send you a copy of me and my children Refugee id card and i also want you to send me your ID card or passport copy and tell me few things about you so i can be sure of who i am dealing with because i am still very careful on who i talk to because those who kill my husband are still after my life because they know i have the document and information's they kill my husband for so i am been very careful giving out information to who i am not sure of i will wait to receive you information before i can be totally free to deal with you ,thank you so much once again for your care and consign about this family and i want to remind you this issue is not one of those scam message you receive you from those evil people looking to cheat other people you can go to the security company your self and solve the issue there if you are willing to help me and you must not forget to send me your id card it is very important i want to be sure of who i am dealing with.thanks
Yours faithfully
safia
The superbly crafted refugee cards were a beautiful touch. The jaunty angle applied to the pictures to make it look as though they were scanned rather than made in MS paint was a particularly nice touch...
Date: Mon, 20 Dec 2012 20:12:10
From: <myemail>@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: Good wishs from your friend Safia
Dear Safia,
Firstly, your thank you for attempting the correct greeting and ending in your last email. Whilst your intent was noble, the execution was somewhat lacking. Typically “yours faithfully” is only used when addressing a letter to someone who’s name you do not know. By now you know me well, like family in fact, so you should have ended your email with “yours sincerely”.
Nevertheless, it is wonderful to hear from you again! I hope you are well and that your extended stay in Turkey has done little to dampen your spirit.
I love Turkey, it is a wonderful country with fine cuisine and even better weather!
I say fine cuisine, but one has to be careful with sweeping generalisations. I once visited a kebab emporium called “Abrakebabra” in Tipperary in Ireland (not sure how I confused Ireland with Turkey at the time, but that’s another story) and left with a €5 less than I came in with, a full belly and a tapeworm whom I named “Alvin”. Alvin sadly passed away just a few months ago – so I can empathise fully with the loss of your husband.
Anyway, that’s by the by. As you can see from my attached passport photo, I have been to Turkey not once, not twice, but thrice in recent years. I trust that this photograph will suffice in terms of proof of my identity (that is my thumb in the photograph).
I must confess that my only real problem during my numerous visits to Turkey in the past has been the unreliability of internet connection in even the swankiest of hotels. I am glad that your current residence at the refugee camp has excellent internet facilities as well as a means to scan the clearly legitimate ID cards of you and your family.
Now down to business. As an avid watcher of Dragon’s Den, I know that big Theo would turn in his (as yet unfilled) grave if I were to accept your first offer. So I am going to make you a counter offer.
I would like to ask for:
- A 30% handling fee – that is 5% more than your initial offer and;
- 51% of any business that we invest in (rather then the 20% currently offered) – I am always cognisant that I must own a controlling stake in any business venture I enter into. This is not negotiable.
So, you now have the proof of my identity that you asked for and I have made my terms clear. If these are acceptable to you I would be delighted to continue with this arrangement and would love to know what the next steps are.
I am also very happy to hear that you are not one of those evil people looking to cheat other people – this does a lot to put my mind at rest.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours faithfully,
<myname>
And that is where the story takes a break for now - hopefully there will be a part 2...
